Life Caddie

A good golf caddie knows the course—the obstacles, the distances, and the strategy for playing it well. A great caddie helps their player choose the right club, read the terrain, and stay focused from the first tee to the final putt.

At first glance, golf and therapy may not seem to have much in common. But recently, a client helped me see just how similar the roles of a caddie and a therapist can be.

Perhaps the comparison feels especially fitting because golf has been part of the landscape of my life, even though I never really learned to play the game myself.

One of my first jobs was as a beer cart girl at my hometown golf course, where I spent my days slinging Coors Lights, putting up with plenty of crude comments, and saving enough to fund a trip to Australia. Later, I spent many summer days at Pebble Beach, nannying for a family whose home was actually on the course itself.

So, despite spending plenty of time around and on golf courses, I never really picked up the game. These days, I'm more likely to be playing mini golf with my kids than anything resembling the real thing.

But the more I thought about the role of a caddie, the more the analogy made sense.

A caddie doesn't play the game for you. They don't take the shot or tell you exactly how to swing.

They help you see what you might not be able to see from where you're standing. They understand the obstacles, read the terrain, help you consider your options, and remind you which tools are already in your bag.

As a therapist, I aim to do something similar.

I work alongside my clients to identify the obstacles they may be vulnerable to—whether that's a critical relationship, perfectionism, fear, avoidance, or patterns of distorted thinking. I get to know the landscape of their lives, their strengths, their challenges, and the things that matter most to them.

Therapy is collaborative. You tell me where you want to go, and together we figure out how to navigate the course.

Sometimes, we even think in terms of “clubs.”

The driver might be mindfulness for rumination.

The wedge might be routine and gratitude for depression.

And the trusty putter? Meditation, with its steady, reliable benefits.

Different situations call for different tools. Sometimes you need something powerful to get you out of a difficult spot. Sometimes you need something precise. And sometimes the best move is to slow down, get quiet, and make a small, steady adjustment.

But our goal isn't simply getting you to the green.

It's not just about landing a job, fixing a relationship, reducing anxiety, or checking a problem off the list. It's about learning how to play the course in a way that aligns with your values and creates meaning.

Because a good caddie doesn't promise a perfect round.

They know there will be hazards. Bad lies. Unexpected turns. Shots that don't go where you intended. Sometimes you'll make a great decision and still end up somewhere you didn't expect.

Life works that way too.

Like golf, life can be challenging, frustrating, exhilarating, and deeply rewarding. It brings up emotions we don't always expect. There will be moments when you feel confident about your next shot and others when you have absolutely no idea what to do.

That's where having someone beside you can make a difference.

Like a good caddie, a therapist walks alongside you—offering encouragement, perspective, and honesty, even when the truth is hard to hear. We help you recognize your strengths, notice your blind spots, and remember the tools you already have.

But ultimately, you're the one holding the club.

So dear friend, my job isn't to play your game for you. It's to help you trust yourself enough to play it.

So, play well and swing easy.

I'll see you at the next session—or tee time.

Stay the course,

Mandy