Psychological Contortionists 

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Psychological flexibility means "contacting the present moment fully as a conscious human being, and based on what the situation affords, changing or persisting in behavior in the service of chosen values." In short, all parents and children have been doing this to survive COVID, changing behaviors in keeping with their values. Everyone's been taking committed actions such as switching to remote learning, purchasing or making masks and working from our homes (even from the closet or garages) to protect ourselves and our families. We are trying to make our kids' childhoods happy, safe, and consistent in an inconsistent world. Our community, time and again, has proven its ability to be psychologically flexible.

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Furthermore, I've witnessed those around me pushing past mere flexibility and shape-shifting and becoming what one of my clients so creatively termed "Psychological Contortionists." Being able to move, bend, and twist their way of being, acting, and thriving despite everything. Notwithstanding political strife, racial injustices, economic disparities, AND trying to survive a pandemic ...you carry on. 

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This resilience, mental strength, and malleability have been awe-inspiring. But with that comes a cost. The toll is exhaustion, pain, and insufferable grief. Just as if you work your muscles to their limits, our mental and emotional health has taken a hit. Humanity is grieving. You may be suffering the loss of life or loved ones due to COVID, or loss of employment, lost hope, routine, and the comfort of your certainty. We are social beings who thrive on connection—in person, touching, smiling, and sharing laughter. COVID has redefined our social constructs. 

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So, to all you grieving psychological contortionists, acknowledge that this is as hard as your mind, body, and emotions are telling you it is. I hope that although we may all be six feet apart and hidden under our quirky masks, we know one another is grieving. By naming and acknowledging it, we can collectively heal and recover to face another day. 

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Onward, 

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